My birthday. Thank you God for all you do and have done for me. Thanks for keeping and guiding me.

my birthday. nov. 13th. happened.

So I told my story again...my life... haven't since last year. At least in much detail and this time I really don't think I have to worry about the person thinking of me differently or wondering if I'm going to fall and haven't overcame it, and most of not judging me or walking away because they can't handle it. I told my story to one of my roommates, a new really good friend.

  I realized in telling it that I am still selfish and need to work a lot and need more and more growth in the Lord, but wow he sure has brought me far and she helped me to remember all the Lord did for me and how great he worked in my life. Anyways.

Prayer requests: I don't do this a lot, but I'm going to reach out to fellow christ followers and trust in the Lord.

   My Aunt has ovarian cancer, SCARY, for her and the whole family. I just lost an Uncle in January and his wife, is my Aunt dawn and she took that so rough, (duh most would) and she is the sister to the other aunt I just talked about. She broke down when hearing now her sister has cancer, and they lost there aunt, my great aunt this summer to a long battle with cancer too. These are my mom's sister. Anyway My Aunt dawn is pretty angry with the Lord and just needs prayer and a special touch fromt he Holy Spirit so she knows she can hope again.

 thanks for listening, I write more later.

 The colors, the shapes, designs... fill up my closet to the prescense of pain in my arm trying to push through them to decide what to wear the next day. lace, bows, and buckles fill up the closet floor to the scent of old shoe fills the room...

  How did I become so selfish, I could give more, I want to give more... Do I give more... I will be rewarded if I do it for the Lord. In saying that am I doing it for the Lord? What's the motive. What's YOUR MOTIVE!

  www.soulsforsouls.org

    it's time to give your extra hoodie or pair of shoes to the person who doesn't know what it means to have EXTRA!

   "Lord, Please forgive me for being so selfish, it should never be so hard to give to people in need when I clearly am not in need of all I have. help me to change my heart and not forget what you have called us to do, that is love the people, meaning love all the people ( hated, old, young, poor, murderes, adulters, gays, overweight people, underweight people, pretty people, models, doctors, prostitutes, pimps, gangsters, room mates, teachers, parents, siblings, ALL PEOPLE)" Help me Lord, thanks for making me aware of what I have let myself become and helping me to realize that I need work, change, growth!

  amanda

Today would be one year, lots has happened in that year, but i still remember. The other day I walked past him said hello and walked the rest of the way to my room with the breeze falling on me of a scent I came to love when I was the one he hugged goodnight ever day. I then proceeded to fall on my couch and say God why?

   Why do I question you Lord, God, ABBA, Lover of my soul, healer of all. You know what's best and right, take my heart over and renew and change it.

   To all those women waiting, and in preparation for the man God has for you... keep waiting and having faith in the Lord, but don't sit and wait. ACT AND WAIT: serve the lord, serve the Lord through serving others, read the WORD, read good books to prepare you and strengthen yours and God's relationship, and just keep relying on the Lord... Allow his scent of love and grace and mercy (smell of rain is my favorite scent of the Lord) and let God be the one to hold you and hug you goodnight every day.